Thursday, December 8, 2022

Why Resolutions Don't Work and What to do Instead


Have you been thinking about the new year ahead? I know I have. ‘Tis the season for making resolutions. 


I don’t make resolutions any longer. 


The theory behind making a New Year’s Resolution is FANTASTIC, don’t get me wrong. Making improvements is always a good thing, but 1/3 of resolutions don’t make it past January. Of those that do, 75% of them are abandoned soon after! We just don’t stick with resolutions because they really don’t mean anything to us! There is no commitment. 


As soon as it gets hard, we give up. That’s a totally normal and human-brain thing to do. Resolutions are action-oriented. In order to get the result we want we decide on actions to get us there. 


Maybe you decide you’re going to get your homeschool lesson plans done, lose weight, give up soda, exercise more, or any number of common resolutions. 


The issue is in order for the actions to work, we absolutely MUST change our thoughts and feelings. 


The minute we slip from the plan, we bully ourselves.

 The lesson plans aren’t done again, I’m not cut out for homeschooling. 

I don’t need lesson plans anyway, I can just wing it. 

So and so has her lesson plans done (and is therefore better at homeschooling than I am) 

This always happens, I want to change but can’t


These thoughts sabotage the actions we have planned. We think actions mean results. 





Rather than make yet another resolution that won’t make it past January, why not give the WORD OF THE YEAR a try this year?  The word of the year helps with our overall mindset. It impacts the quality of our thinking so we can get actual results in our homeschool. 


This is a completely different way to look at goal setting and making resolutions to change. 


 When we change the quality of our thinking we create quality actions! There is no need to bully yourself into changing personally or as a homeschool mom. 


Choosing a word of the year isn’t a new concept - perhaps you already do this. 

Choosing a word of the year is inspiring. The word is designed to guide you and ALL the goals you make for the year. As much as possible, things should tie back to your word. 



The twist I want to suggest is that you choose a word for your homeschool. Something that is all-encompassing for the focus of your school and where you want to take it in the new year. 


You can choose one for yourself as well, but using this technique for your homeschool is empowering and inspiring! 


Choosing a word of the year for your homeschool isn’t as easy as just reviewing a list and circling your favorite. It takes some thought. 


FIRST- You need to make a list of the STRENGTHS/ WEAKNESSES. Ideally, it should be for EVERYONE, yourself included but at a minimum complete this activity for each child of school age.  Do you see any patterns? This list helps you did deep to the root of any mindset issues you may be experiencing. 


Next, you will need to REFLECT on those strengths, weaknesses, and the overall patterns, or lack of patterns. Ask yourself these questions as a guide. 


What does my homeschool need more of? What does my homeschool need LESS of? What does a perfect homeschool day look like? (take time to really visualize this) Take notes if you wish. 



After reflecting, what comes to mind? MAKE A LIST of the words that pop out as a result of your reflection.   Jot down as many words or phrases as you want. If you need inspiration, look at my printable Word of the Year list - there are 75 words to help get you started. 





I advise WAITING a few days before going any further. Let the list marinate like a good piece of meat. After all, you are going to use it as the cornerstone for everything you do for the next 12 months. 


When you feel INSPIRED,  then narrow down your list to 3-5 words. If your kids are old enough, now it’s time to involve them. Define each word and outline a bit of what it would look like having the word inspire and guide the year moving forward. 


For example, If your word for 2022 is INDEPENDENCE, you could begin by potty training the youngest, and letting the older ones have passion projects they work on in the afternoon. Is it time to let any of the kids make their own lunches? 


Another word could be BALANCE. Take a look and see if you have the kids in too many extra activities. Perhaps You lean toward teaching language arts and need to squeeze a little more science in to achieve balance. 


CONNECT - In what ways can you plan individual time for each of your children so you can connect with them on a deeper level over the next year? 


One year I used a phrase - CHOOSE JOY. If I had a fussy bug (I called my kids “The Bugs”) I could always go back and remind them feelings were a choice, and this year we Chose Joy. We were struggling with attitude in those “Tween” years so *CHOOSE JOY* fit. 


What word resonates with the children most? Have them vote, or you can narrow it down to one that makes the most sense. 


Once you finalize your word it needs to be VISIBLE everywhere. The bathroom, the kitchen, your main school area, your planner, even on your phone’s lock screen. When deciding to sign the kids up for baseball in June, you should use the word as your guide. Struggling with a child who begins rushing through work in March, How can your word help? 


I kept a record of our words for 10 years. After that we decided we had chosen all the words that truly defined our family and it was time to put the spit polish on them as a master set. This is one of those activities that can be truly transformative if you allow it. 


I’d love to know your word when you decide, Please do reply and let me know what you pick and I’ll keep it on my desk this year too! I know we can all use positive energy! 


My word for this year is Surender (I need to work on my habit of perfectionism, it is not serving me, my family, or YOU, my homeschool friends!) 



Are you interested in working on your homeschool mindset?

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